so updates guys today is the last day of 2016. time really flies when you dont keep track of it. i know its very cliche to do this kind of updates everytime on the last day of the year, but still this is just for me to keep my own achievements and memories in this space and anyone who will have an interest in reading them. sooo yea

to me 2016 has rather been a challenging year for me. mainly because i am out of job and studying full time. i know it is a dumb move to quit a decent paying job and go for studies, but as i mentioned before, i feel rsaf isnt really the right job for me and i cant see myself where i will be in the next 10 years. i know right now i still cant see what i want in the next 5 years, as in graduating and working a proper job. still i believe it is a right move to leave the rsaf and pursue my studies and in the process find what i truly want to do in the future. hence, as of now i sort of can see myself working either in government sector or private sector when i graduate, probably media relations, journalist or marcom excutive for a particular organization which i have interest in.  i am going to graduate in 2017 aug, if everything goes well. 2 more trimesters to be exact. next semester is going to be a tough one, just like this semester, i just hope i have the strength to pull through and graduate. next semester is probably the biggest highlight of the entire course because im taking campaign manangement and i heard it is very challenging and demanding but fun and exciting. i hope i can be more proactive and open to new people and missions and be a better person overall.

throughout 2016, i have been struggling with finances, mainly because i dont have a job. but i cant complain or blame anyone but myself as this is the road i chose. im barely surviving with what i have left and have been scrimping alot..i mean alot..maybe this is because why my weight has dropped alot this year, i dont know. i found myself eating lesser than i use to eat. so i hope im able to gain some back in 2017. also i think the money issue will be solved once i graduate and get a proper job in 2017. so money issue is done.

i failed my ippt in 2016.. lol. and still have yet to attend any rt sessions. so i must really attend those rt session before my birthday. i dont want to get charged lol.. i cant find any motivation to exercise anymore. can anyone help me? nah.. no one would i guess..gonna start my body pumping next year

i didnt really have any love encounter in 2016 again. sad to say but love cannot be forced. sometimes i really wonder what does it takes to make 2 people come together. we humans are so superficial and always judge people when we see them. what does it takes to make 2 people accept each others flaws and live with each other. the laws of attraction is really intriguing and sometimes i feel i have no control over it. people may say im a pussy for not making the first move or what so ever, i just feel i dont have what it takes and im always out of her league. they say i shouldnt think so lowly of myself, but the truth is i am that weak and useless. i just hope i have the courage and guts to go for what i love and want.

ok i guess that enough of this post. i hope everyone have a great new years eve celebration later on, and also have a happy and healthy 2017. thats it

so im back after 8 months

nothing has changed much, except the fact that i need to face financial pressure and stress almost everyday, plus stress from school. but this is the path i have chose and i have to face it. whatever comes in the future, i will just need to deal with it, be it good or bad.

after reading all the posts from this blog, i realized so many things i could have done better in the past. bad relationships and choices. we cannot go back in time to change history and can only live with our sins and mistakes, and hopefully will change for the better by forgiving ourselves in time. i cant say for sure i have forgave and changed myself, but i know that i  will be more tactful in handling relationships and making the most appropriate decision in my life

right now, i just want to spend more time with my parents and also find a life partner to complete my life. studies wise, i hope to graduate by next year august, and find a decent job that i like and able to feed my family. its gonna take 2 years or more, but i hope i can achieve it by then. although i will lose out alot to my peers, eg some of them are already married with childrens now, working and earning big bucks, i think as long i have the willpower to press on and bite the bullet, with support of love one and gf/wife, i think i will still make it.

sometimes..i just hate everyone..

yoyoyo..this is my fisrt time writing a blog..so pls dun mind if i suck at this...kk..today is my off day...thought i could spend my whole day sitting in front of my com and complete gta san andreas...went to hospital wif mother for check up on 12pm ...dude..then it was drizzling then raining like shit...and my mum was sitting on the wheelchair{dun ask y} then we were like standing in the middle of nowhere waiting for a taxi to pick us...every passer by give us that loook..i was wondering..whats wrong withs these ppl?? i mean...it is already HARD for my mother to go out of the house a few steps and now shes made it down stairs...and ppl give these !@#@$% looks..very sialan...really feel like taking my slipers and smack them on the fac..but i knew it was insane so i controlled myself...then in the end..we cancelled the trip cos the rain has worsen to heavy rain...

ok..enough of my complains...ppl hates ppls who complains..rite??...lets talk bout my life now..ah...work for sheng siong for one month liao...at loyang point..got fisrt pay!!...u must be thinkingg...how much per hour..monthly how much...welll..u could say my pay was pathetic..sucks..whatever...800 per month...whatever u say...""my job is pathetic..one month 800 only..i go other place can easily find a job 1k plus liao lo!!""..i dun mind...its just that how u made this money...i didnt steal..rob..kill...set fire..to get this money...one time..theres one guy who ask my friend..who is a cashier..how much per month..and when my friend said his salry..this guy sialan with my friend..just wanna tell this guy.."""dude..we earn this money by our sweat...800 per month..any problem with u???"""...lol..i sialan with him again...

now its like 11pm...and i have to work at 2pm 2moro...eyes wanna close liao..but ill tahan a while to write finish...ill think of what to write...ya...o lvl is like over for so long..and we are enjoying ourselves already...yes..i feel that we should go enjoy ourselves as we "suffered" so much during this 2 years....now its time for making choices....and the worse part...getting the result slip...i feel that we should be "mentally prepared" for that day to come..so that you can like know when is doomsday...im not cursing anyone..but just trying to tell that results are near and we should be "vigilant"..lol...

ok lahs...mum bugging me to off com liao..lol..im a momma's boy..i admit it...i will try to blog 2moro or sunday...cos my com siao one..sometimes can on..sometimes cant...if lucky ill blog again 2moro...yawns..tired...nites...