ok updates guys..been 2 months since i last updated?!

life in AFTC as per normal..driving lessons..yes man..for the month of feb and march..i have been chionging lesson..cleared module 2 already..only left module 3 which is parking then off to TP..but the sad things is i failed my FTT which dragged my TP date to at least june or july..sad man...must pass my FTT on 25/05/12 again..if not cant get my liscense.

and placing for uni..i think i have been rejected..didnt hear anything from ntu or nus..fuck up..they should have just drop me a mail to say im not eligible..oh well try again next year..zz

april is here and ippt window has open again..hope i can maintain my silver and get 100bucks!!

so finally a new year..new start i guess..alot has changed..donno for better or worse..2011 has been..a turning point..looking back all the shit i gone thru..actually im quite proud to say been thru done with it..

summarry of 2011..new phase of regular life..jan to march was a chiongsua period as infantry trainee..quite an experience..march to june was a long wait for another chiongsua course to start..during this period i had a good long break..made some new friends..met her after so long..june to end of september was chiongsua again..that period was mentally shag as my encik always say "when u all pass out, whether ur gf family can sleep peacefully at night depends on you"..true to say..this is my job no one else want to do..i know alot people look down on me..but i advise you not to do so cos we are all the same..soo after that till end of 2011...im in my parent unit chongpang camp in yishun doing ops and keeping you guys safe..

right now im being posted to PLAB for another course till end of may..so maybe its another time to take a break from unit..stayout :D

so new year resolutions..been thinking quite awhile pardon me..

-driving liscene by june(8 lessons so far..)

-get a placing in a local uni( should have done that last year but miss it..hope to get into one)

-hit at least 22k saving this year

-revamp my room ( been thinking to buy a projector and table to facilitate my ps3 and gaming pc)

-own vehicle ( not likely possible depends on where my daily duty will be at)

-travelling to another country ( been on my list since last year,thinking of organising a solo trip to X country this year..depends anyone want to join me + if time allows)

-her ( long story cut short, last year there was her, almost got together but suddenly break.nevertheless thank you. i will find a better one and hope the same for u too)

talking about "her" i think i have a thing for malaysian girls..not to say..last year..donno what made me crazy..i express my interest to 2 girls and would like to be friends with them..ok this is crazy i know..1st girl failed instantly..2nd girl just recently only..but broke my heart when she told me she has a bf and sounded not interested..well normally in sg ppl dont do these very often? i donno..strangely both of them are malaysians so ya...

so i have been quite lonely other than gbc to accompany me for the weekends..my life has been dull since i enlist..im 21..going 22 this year..quite a old man already..still much to learn and never experience those puppy love like u see in movie or outside..even my friends in army who have gf outside are also having problem with their gf..not to say being a regular..guess its very hard to find a girl who understands ur situation but still is supportive of you despite the fact that both meet up very irregularly...i think the most suitable girl for me now is the one who can change me, my attitude. but i think its gonna be very hard given the fact im in SAF.

so to sum up..i thank u to spend time poping by once in a while, hoping i will post something..
to my all my friends - hope u are doing fine out in the working/studying world..dont belittle of urself, u are better than u think...hopefully 10years down the road if u get married must invite me ah!

all i want for christmas is you

you know what? i dreamt of you that we were together last night

soo..finally another update after so long..

upades..pass out as 3SG le..more shit coming up..suppose to go back AFTC on 24 Oct for technical course...but dunno somehow..push back to jan..so lanlan stuck in 160sqn till jan..and ALOT shit has happen recently..

its not hate..is i feel the way people are mistreating me..im fragile pls..always talk so big when nothing happen...but when shit happens..first one to gabraa is you..

yea..i feel this 21 years of my life has been a normal one..fucking normal till im sick of it..i know no one can make a change except me..but at least give me some encouragement pls..if you are out to make life difficult for me..pls die far far..

im a slow bloomer i know..i learn things much slower so pls bear with me..cant take it just f off..i can slowly learn myself..

talk so much also no use..no one will see this..this blog going to die la..bye bye boys and girls

soo..the time has come..2 weeks of assessment...im so gonna be shag out this 2 weeks..might as well blog now...after that 2 weeks..hopefully i pass out as a 3sgt

i failed my FTT!! argh..blame it on me cos i didnt study...no time really..10 qns wrong lei..how how..cui ah..

so..nothing much..book in 6pm tonight...sibei sians..

so training in chongpang isnt that really bad..if u keep whining..why not accept the fact and face it like a man..

hmm..updates..physically i think i have improved but running wise can be better...always on the verge of giving up when running 2.4km 6 rounds stadium..it suckss...

long weekend going to be over soon..then pre-summex and summex then graduation..cant wait for that...its on a weekday 26th sept around noon like that..those who are interested can let me know..i see what i can do to indent a seat for you!

i feel ambigious...is it suppose to feel like that? i need a concrete answer..

started training in chongpang camp..bunk at lvl 6..no vending machine..cannot go mess..canoot go canteen..bunk 8 ppl only 2 fan..everyday must climb up and down 6 lvls..good training bitches!!

so far i can say training is not really tough..i think tough part will be the theory shit cos its alot from what i see from the manuels..dam..cant wait to pass out and leave this place man..i miss aftc bunk lol...

so ya..happy national day..its a short week this week because of ndp...sometimes how strong a country is not only depends on the military forces behind it..i feel it also got to do with the people..how patrotic u are..that u love your homeland despite all this shit going on if u know what i mean..but sadly i dont see this in any one of you..

and..i really admire those gf who will spend time with the bf on time pass out parade..such girls are really dam sweet..i mean like you been thru so much shit and hell and the day u pass out she is there to tell you she proud of you you went thru so much...abit sad for me ehh

ok..tonight gonna book in..hope this week is a fruitful one..and hope to see u this weekend

due to some reason..we still had one more week in AFTC..so tonight is gonna be the last night in AFTC..gonna miss the fun the slackness the massorgy in recreation room lol..going to chongpang tml..start of weapon term..

turning 21 next month...think its goin to be another bday like that..still considering want to open chalet not...so many things to do..lazy..but i want to meet all my friends..how how how...

this blogg like rotting alr eh..aiya..dunno dun care la

2 weeks yes..and i miss you

finally last week was over...so tiring last week because of exam ippt and airtime...but im glad i learn something last week..

this week will be the last week in aftc...gonna miss the slackness here when i go to chomppang...hope the weapon phase will be a good one...

bored bored so bored...sunday so bored

1 week has past like that...as ususal..life in aftc was not that bad..and ah soon has come to aftc too!! his bunk is just above mine! soo cool rightS?

whats is this feeling...so strange, sweet, makes me want more...i miss you :(

so my trainee life have started..i can say now its quite slack because everyday is just studying and studying..no much physical only for pullup regiments before meals..other than that nothing much..staying in waas abit culture shock as i have not stayed in for like 3 months??

i dunno why but im starting to believe in horoscope again

weekend was fucking fast...i miss her everytime i walk out of that door..but im glad my precious time was spent wisely with her and she is willing to stay up all night for me...ssometimes i just hope time could just slow down that instant

booking in later..lots of stuff to bring in..fucking bulky...

life has been happening recently..didnt expect the unexpected to happen..

so..my course is officially starting this wed..i expect myself to be very tired and stress then usual..cos i have to do commanders airtime next month..and i haven even started working on it..like the saying goes..enjoy while you can first..lol..

lets see my sheldule...friday book out..maybe chomp chomp with celestine they all..sat got 3 events ongoing at the same time..omgawd..dunno which one to go..sunday dinner with mami..:DD

hope i can meet u again this weekend
you are my sugar and i need you

hmm..life been easy this week..looking forward to saturday cos im taking btt..and i pass!!! haha..ftt is on 3 sept..fucking far from now..bobian..closest date also 17aug..i in camp cannot take leave by then..GBAD trainee

yea...life has gave me quite a big surprise recently...really really happy to re contact my priamry school friend..as in primary 1 when im still living in pasir ris..met up with 2 diff primary school friends this weekend..hmm...what i can say bout them..definitely grown more feminine...and her character dam outgoing la..so funny go watch movie with her..like she own the whole theatre like that..im looking forward to meet her again lol

people around me still ask me..why so emo..dun emo la..i really dunno la..sometimes i dunno who i am..u know the feeling? have to fake it out..i really hate it...not i dont wanna change..but if i change..will anyone accept me after that..get it?

actually..you are amazing

been happening alot stuff recently..let me recall man..i have super stm..

nvm..shall update u guys on the high key events only lol...blame me for my memory...

soons birthday! finally 21 bro...u are officially legal to do anything! dont break the law yo..lol..

celestine bday! finally ord bro lol..dont kaopei me ord lo..lol..good to have ur civilian life back..good luck to your future job and studies man..

i think ima crazy dude..just quiet...

been noticing my dad is getting older and my mum too..they dont seem so energtic as before...what can i do? i hurts me to see this..they are my parents and i dont know what to do..there must be something i can help them..

some friends are very fake...i dunno why but i start to hate them...that leaves me no choice but to desert myself from everyone...i feel better alone doing things..

boys and girls...hope u all will understand me..my sentence struture is very cui...really..i dont even know how to initiate a call properly...those wanna laugh say hurtful things to me carry on..i rather stay in the dark

k bye..just hope some will treasure me properly

i need some pills..knife seems so pain

alrite..this weekend was boring...but good eh..didnt spent too much money

sooo..another source told me i will be starting my weapon phase on 22 june..hope this time really is true..cos im tired of waiting and wasting my time away emoing and shit...i wanna to do something constructive!

so tired..really tired that i slept till 4pm today..its been ages since i slept till the sun is going to set lol

going out alone can be boring and self hurting everytime..i went to nex ytd to the library to do some research...on the highest lvl of nex got the pet store and the baby store..omg so cute sia the baby learn how to swim..i want a child of mine!! the doggy area also alot people watching the dogs playing in the enclosed area..dam cute laaa..and the open water park for children to play is so funny lol..watching kids kena owned by the big pail of water splashing on them really can lmao..

i see that you are not having enough rest recently because of work...take care yaw

hi humans...im glad u pop by here once in awhile to check to updates..thank you

last week has been short..cos of the leave i took on friday and todays vesak day lol..

soon's celebration was ok..happy birthday to him again!! 3 more months from today and im 21..and i have not achieve quite alot of things..

let me think what i have been doing lately..yea..first time to club on friday..yea..i know...its abit crazy over there..and i accompany my friend there..did went to the dancefloor for awhile..but my body doesnt know how to groove to the music..so in the end just step one side..damn awkwward

and ya..wtf is wrong with fund transfer on the atm this few days..i owe liang hao money still cannot transfer to him..dam...

watch 2 movies on 2 days straight..i like..beastly and priest was nice..though beastly was better than expected...i really enjoy ytd and today...

yea..im thinking of getting a dslr in july or august..what do u all think which dslr should i get??

so..20may is not the start of my course eh? i seriously hope it wont clash with my taiwan trip next year...

deep down i think no one ever thought of me..im just a "hi bye" guy..cant it be more? stupid of me to believe what happens in love story cos it wont farking happen in singapore..maybe other countries might

if i could stroke you to sleep i would
if i could be always there for u i would
if i could hug u and say everything will be ok i would
if i could hold your hand swing like a little kid i would
if i could tell you what is it like when i cant see you i would
if u only give me ur attention

but problem is always myself..
fucking think so much for fuck
i know its dam sweet to think of this
but its not within my reach
stretch my hands too far will only make me fall again
ok someone will kan me again lol

blah blah blah..i think im turning bad to worse..hope u are not reading till now cos those that i want them to read my blog most probably wont read..so if u are reading..i want to say i need ur attention..it means alot to me

kthxbye

so...i heard my course will be starting on 20 may..im posted to guns..which is the oldest weapon from gbad..but i still dunno why they post me there..whatever it is..im all ready for the action im going to face in weapon phase which is 3 months..

life has been crazy this few weeks..whole of singapore eyeing on adjunied becos workers party is fighting for it..weather has been a bitch lately..fucking hot..even at night..its must be a sign from above to tell us something..guess most of u never thought of this eh..

i have been trying to learn to put on contacts lens..i can put them on..but dunno how to take them out...lmao..i will keep trying

been wasting alot money on movie and entertainment recently too..well since no one wanna pamper me..i should pamper myself right?

also spent quite alot on family insurance recently..bought fire safety stuff to put at home..just thought of it cos u never know when a fire breaks out yea..
and also open another prudential saving plan recommended by eugene...gonna save up for my children mainly..whether i gonna have kids next time or what you know..

i dont know why but i have a strong feeling my 21th bday this year gonna suck my balls

nabeii fucking emo